how it's done

The message popped up unexpectedly, interrupting my mid-afternoon malaise.  He had seen from my Facebook wall that I was planning on going to the preseason football rally at our mutual alma mater.  The least I could do, he said, was to let him buy me a drink afterward.

This was awkward because I couldn't for the life of me remember how I knew this guy.

He's on my Facebook friends list.  I remember accepting his friend request because he happens to share an unusual last name with a family of kids who went to my elementary school, so I figured he was one of them.  But once I accepted, I realized that all our mutual friends -- more than 30 of them -- were from college.  I must have met him at some point then, and promptly forgotten all about it.  (This happens to me more often than I'd like to admit.  I blame it on all the undergrad boozing.)

Anyway, after an hour of racking my brain, I had to give up and send him one of my patented "This is embarrassing, but I can't remember how I know you; pardon me/remind me?" emails.

The response came back that evening.  No need to be embarrassed, he said; we'd had a couple of classes together years and years ago.  He thought we might have been at some of the same college social events, too.  But really he was interested in getting to know me better now.  "Maybe a shot in the dark," he wrote, "but I saw that you were heading this way and I couldn't deny that I was long hoping for a reason to run into you."

Gentlemen:  Want to ask a girl out?  Want to do it in a way that is both flattering and respectful?  Want to make it quite clear to her that you are interested, not dabbling in the murky waters of friendship?  Of course you do, because then she'll say yes.  And that sentence, right there at the end of the last paragraph -- that's how it's done.