¡andale!

Sometimes I draft posts and then forget to go ahead and publish them -- usually because I have been distracted by something shiny. Actually, it's better if you just assume that nothing in this blog is in chronological order. There are lots of shiny things where I am.

Yesterday afternoon was bad. The end of Charles, finally, in what has been a very indefinite and lingering end. It wasn't frank and amicable, like it might have been; instead it was garbled and dismissive and conducted via text message. (Text message!  Let me assure you, gentle reader, that this wasn't my idea.) The kind of end that leaves you furious and gagging on all the things you still want to say.

So I had to shut my office door and put my face in my hands for a while. Take a lot of deep breaths. Unload to Nick, who really deserves a medal for listening to me as much as he does. Violently staple things that didn't need to be stapled.

But then, more by accident than design, I made a few good decisions. It started when I tied my ass to my chair and finished the proposal I needed to write, without making any more excuses. Then my sister called, and I didn't yammer about my own problems because her day was definitely worse than mine. Then I went to a volunteer job and did some good work for some good people, in the company of some more good people. Then I came home and talked to my roommate, who also happens to be good people (although she'd object to the phrase). Then I looked through my high school yearbooks and laughed, and emailed a friend who is half a world away to talk about a good memory. And then a very handsome guy told me that he liked my prose and he'd like to read more of it. By the time I went to bed, I felt about a million times lighter and at least half as homicidal.

Which is all to say -- when you're sad, you have to do something. Do anything. You can't just sit around. (Which is what I did on Saturday, and let me tell you, it was bad.) Get yourself to where there are some people to talk to. Get some shit done. Get to work, Clare, get to work.